Romanticizing at its Worst

So I was watching a little bit of The Last Comic Standing this morning, (and you know all of those little advertisments that get played over and over and over again because the ad creators can't figure out that after 8 times, no matter how awesome it looks, I won't buy whatever it is because the advertisement got increadibly annoying) and there was the standard fare of advertisments. This epidode was actually longer than usual, so I got to see/hear it around 15 times or something. Once or twice I actually listened to it, and this is how the jingle went:

"The touch, the feel, the fabric our lives, The touch, the feel of cotton, the fabric of my life"

You know, I've always wanted to write a love song for cotton fabric but they just.... beat me to it....Wait, what? Cotton? Cotton fabric... Sometimes I wonder at people's sanity. I know you are really excited about cotton and you want me to buy cotton things, but personally I would be more interested in giving a short psych exam to check your orientation to reality.

Well maybe this works for some people right? I mean I get pretty excited about a few things. Like candy. But the difference is, if I ran around singing "Candy is the secret behind all great things in life, and it gets me through tough times, my friend forever...." I might actually have a chance of being taken seriously.

They put it out there as if they were saying something like "If we ever found the workshop of the Fates, and looked at their work on the fabric of life and time, it would be made out of cotton."

So I had a good laugh about it...which quickly died off when I realized that how excited I get about nursing and medicine and the human body might seem a little over the top. Like when people asked me about how my time in clinical was, I went on for a bit on how I like to work with really "busted and messed up people because they are more interesting". And the little voice in my head says, "You mean not everyone gets how awesome that is?" No... no... they just think you are one step away from psychopath. Or so I assume. But I have found comfort that I still am not the weirdest out there.

After my well woman's appointment (yay, it's so delightful....) I had my interested piqued, as it sometimes is, and decided to look up things about the cervix. Since I did not have an OB rotation, it's the stuff I have the least actual experience with, I feel the research/review is justified.

Now since I have graduated, they have officially locked my out of all the online databases that the school had open to them, so now I have to do Google searches and hope that it find scholarly articles (or something close) that I can read without paying $80 or something ridiculous. I also like looking at sites to see how they explain things to the general public.

Interestingly enough one of the first things that popped up was an article from ezinearticles. Here's how it started:

"I am the gateway; I am the door. I connect the inside to the outside. I decide which outside comes in. I control the flux and the flow. I hold the wise blood, or let it go. I protect the growing babe, or thrust it unformed into a world unsuitable. None leave, none enter, except by my grace, my decision..."

(my face as I am reading this)-----> 0_o

Ok I think that female parts are awesome and I am a fan, but please lock me up if I ever start writing poetry or prose like that about any of my body parts.

And this is all before I got to to some of the other literary gems like "I offer blood to Mother Earth. I spin stretchy strings of fertile mucus to Grandmother Moon." or " I know how to efface myself... opening wide in sweet surrender" (<--- clearly whoever wrote this hasn't experienced child birth)

In the end it is just a cervix. A clump of tissue in the female body that has a specific job to do... and I'm pretty sure it isn't sentient. A CERVIX! That's it people! Ok, I'm not going to stop anyone from writing love prose for it, but I really don't think your cervix cares in all honesty. It's not going to be so touched that it'll let you out of the pain of labor. Nice try.

Now I can understand that some people are really into certain body systems and generally they become specailized in that area of medicine. Generally, if they have some increadible obsession with it, they have enough of an outlet in being specialized. Or if they really feel the need to share that love, they can become professors.

I am so sorry to all of you, especially nonmedical, who have to put up with these sort of love affairs. Next time you ask me what my favorite part of work was, or what I like most about nursing, please let me know if I start going a little too far.

I will do my best not to scar you for life.